“Our Souls at Night” by Kent Haruf

My daughter Charlotte, a senior one month away from graduating Northwestern University, is taking a class called Marriage 101: Building Loving and Lasting Relationships taught by Alexandra Solomon. On Tuesday, Charlotte interviewed me as part of an assignment for this class. She asked me a series of questions about my own marriages as well as romantic relationships, and asked me to offer any advice to her on how to forge successful partnerships. Ninety minutes into the interview, I found myself quite hoarse, so I guess that means I have a lot to say about love. Summarizing my advice to Charlotte I zeroed in on this: Find someone who appreciates you. Find someone who always has your back. Find someone who makes you laugh. And find someone who will drive you to your colonoscopy. Do not grow old alone, I told her. That advice brings me to this delightful little book “Our Souls at Night” by Kent Haruf. This was the author’s last novel published before he died at the age of 71. The story follows the tale of two 70-year-old widowers – Addie Moore and Louis Waters – and how their relationship develops after Addie proposes one day that they sleep together, not for sex, but just for companionship. We know any cute-meet like this one, no matter what age, is going to hopefully lead to more intimacy. And of course it does. Their relationship gets tricky when Addie’s grandson shows up on her doorstep, but when Louis jumps in to help with the boy, we love their relationship even more. This book is quite charming, but more than anything else it depicts an honest and real relationship between two people who have lived for seven decades on this planet. They are wise, but they also are guarded, and of course carry the traditional baggage that comes with age. After loving this book when I read it last year, I recently saw the movie version on Netflix starring none other than Jane Fonda and Robert Redford. At 80 and 81 years old respectively, I have to say these two actors still have the spark that I hope Jeff and I have at that age as well.  To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Bright Hour: A Memoir of Living and Dying” by Nina Riggs

At the hospice where I work, I always try to stay very calm on the phone when I am starting an admission.  The family members and clients I’m speaking to are often in crisis and feel overwhelmed.  I like to offer them patience with a comforting, yet reassuring voice. However, there is always one thing that rattles my calm voice – and that is entering the date of birth of a patient younger then me.  I was born in 1963, so to enter dates like 1975 or 1982 or 1991, makes me think quietly to myself each time, “This is just not fair.” However, after reading this book, I have a new perspective on what it is like to die young, and it is not about what is fair, but about making it count. My book this week is “Bright Hour” by Nina Riggs, a young writer and poet who died just short of her 40th birthday of incurable breast cancer in 2017. She left behind her husband, John, and two young sons.  The great-great-great granddaughter of Ralph Waldo Emerson, the author tells the story of how she learned to love and appreciate life during the final year of her life. She finished the book and died only one month later, but not before “accepting the absurdity and the beauty of every day” given a future you cannot count on. Her memoir is sad and moving, but also a road map for finding joy and value in being a writer, a mother, a wife and a daughter. Several friends suggested that I read this book because I am such a romantic. At first I wondered how can a book about breast cancer be romantic? It turns out that Nina’s husband is now dating Lucy Kalanithi, the widow of Paul Kalanithi who wrote the best selling memoir “When Breath Becomes Air.” It sounds crazy to think that these two grieving people would not only find each other and meet, but also fall in love. To think that Paul’s young daughter might grow up with Nina’s two sons in a blended family seems like such a beautiful picture. You can’t help but smile at the happy ending. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

Obama: An Intimate Portrait” by Pete Souza

Jeff and I went to see the photographer Pete Souza speak last night at the Curran Theatre in San Francisco about his book “Obama: An Intimate Portrait.”  It was the most perfect Thursday date night. It began with an Uber ride to Union Square, followed by an excellent dinner of Mexican food with margaritas, and then a 90-minute-no-intermission show. Those who know me well recognize that the key to my heart is not diamonds, but a 90-minute-no-intermission show. This was a show for the history books and history has always been one of my favorite subjects. Souza, previously a photographer for the “Chicago Sun Times,” started photographing Obama during his first year as a senator. He then followed Obama from The Hill into the White House, where he captured literally millions of pictures during the President’s two terms. You realize as you listen to Souza that Obama allowed him behind the scenes of his presidency because Pete is kind, compassionate, funny and just a salt-of-the-earth kind of guy. He enjoys a huge Instagram following too at #petesouza. For those of us sitting in the beautiful Curran Theatre, it was a trip down memory lane filled with many laughs but also many tears. The pictures of Obama with Michelle and his daughters, as well as other people’s children, are pure joy. And then there are pictures of shear stress and grief, such as the president hunting down Bin Laden and later the president hugging the mother of a little boy who died in the Sandy Hook massacre. With every photo and backstory you think “What a role model he truly was.” Everyone who bought a ticket to Thursday night’s event was given a copy of Souza’s book. As we all carried our heavy coffee table books out of the theatre into the night, many of us smiled and wiped our tears. It was a lovely evening, and a wonderful time to reflect on Obama’s class, wit and accomplishments during his eight years in the White House. But as we got into our Ubers to go home, I felt like we were all thinking the same thing: It seemed like such a magical eight years and what next? To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“I Feel Bad About My Neck” by Nora Ephron

A few months ago my friend Noelle and I decided that our must-have accessory for spring was a pair of “hostess pants.” These would be the kind of pants that Betty Draper or Laura Petrie might wear to throw an elegant dinner party in their own home with iceberg wedge salad and martinis. The pants would have a sash at the waist and the pant legs would flair at the bottom. A few days later, I bought my first pair of midnight blue evening hostess pants and immediately fell in love with them. Unfortunately, I forgot that one should only wear hostess pants in one’s home. I wore them to work one day, and as I was walking across the parking lot I tripped over one of the pant legs and fell flat onto my hands and knees. Picture blood and bits of gravel sunken into both. A woman much older than me, happen to be riding by on a bike and stopped to help me. She said, “Falling when you are older is not the same as when you are a kid, right? You should go home and ice.” Suddenly I am a person who needs to ice her limbs. How did this happen? Growing old take a lot of work and that is the theme of Nora Ephron’s wonderful book “I Feel Bad About My Neck.” Published in 2006, six years before her death at the age of 71 of leukemia, this book is a collection of essays about aging. She explains the importance of manicures and blow drys as well as men who disappoint her, parenting and the telling contents of a woman’s purse. She even talks about falling out of love with her long-time apartment building, The Apthorp. This collection of essays is pure Ephron and cannot be read without laughing out loud.  To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Everything is Horrible and Wonderful: A Tragicomic Memoir of Genius, Heroin, Love, and Loss” By Stephanie Wittels Wachs

I would rather go to the dentist than drive a long distance in my car, and this is saying a lot because I do happen to drive quite a fancy car. I find driving very stressful, and one of the things I do to calm my nerves while on the road is to listen to audio books. If the book is truly a great one, I find that when I arrive at my husband Jeff’s house, I do not want to get out of the car. “Everything is Horrible and Wonderful” by Stephanie Wittels Wachs is one of the best car books I have listened to in a long time because it is both tragic and poignant, as well as funny and heartbreaking. Harris Wittels was a stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer and musician who died at the age of 30 on February 19, 2015, alone in his home of a heroin overdose. This is his story as told through the eyes of his sister Stephanie, herself an acting teacher and voice-over performer. A writer and executive producer of the television series “Parks and Recreation” as well as the “Sarah Silverman Program,” Harris had found success in Hollywood earlier than most comedy writers could ever dream. Friends with Silverman as well as Aziz Ansari and Amy Poehler, Mr. Wittels had finished work on “Parks and Recreation,” and was starting to launch Ansari’s new series “Master of None,” when he died. His sister uses this book to comb through his story, from his childhood in Houston to his life in Hollywood, looking for answers and meaning. She knew he struggled with drugs, and both she and her parents had championed him through more than one stint in rehab. Yet his true comedic talent was no match against the strength of heroin.  People grieve in many different ways, and I think this honest memoir by a sister for her brother is not only well written, but also very inspiring for people looking for answers on how to handle the death of a loved one. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“A Nearly Normal Life” by Charles L. Mee

My twins Lily and Charlotte were born on June 13, 1995, at 27 weeks, nearly three months earlier than full term. Lily was diagnosed with cerebral palsy on her first birthday, and Charlotte was diagnosed shortly after her second birthday. After the news settled, I was on a mission to meet a 13-year-old with cerebral palsy. It didn’t matter if the child was a boy or a girl, I just wanted to see what our future looked like. Of course I know now that I was a fool. No two people with cerebral palsy are ever exactly alike. But at the time, I was a 32-year-old new mother looking for answers. When I couldn’t find a 13-year-old with CP just wandering around Laurel Village, I decided I would turn to my back up plan: research. If I couldn’t see our future I would read about it. My quest led me to this book, “A Nearly Normal Life” by Charles L. Mee. The author, who is still alive at 79, was diagnosed with polio as a teenager growing up in small Midwestern town. I’m well aware of the differences between polio and CP, but something about Mee’s memoir not only spoke to me, it gave me more hope than I ever could have imagined for my girls.  Instead of struggling with his physical disability, he developed his intellectual potential and became a playwright, historian, author and professor of theater at Columbia University. He graduated from Harvard University, and went on to get married and have five children. This book gave me the courage to dream similar lofty ambitions for my own twins. And I am so proud of both of them—Lily’s continued interest in San Francisco public policy, and Charlotte soon will be on her way to Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health for a master’s degree. On April 28, 2018, I will be walking in my 13th March for Babies walk with Team Berliner to raised money for premature babies. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.  

“Tell Me More: Stories About the 12 Hardest Things I’m Learning to Say” by Kelly Corrigan

All of my friends named Beth are very smart. I mean intellectually smart but also true street-smart doyennes of life. For example, one of them will say “Drive over the bridge, buy this special chicken salad, serve it to your guests for lunch, and it will be the best salad they have ever eaten.” For this reason, I love having women named Beth in my life. One of the Beths recently sent me a picture of this book and suggested I read it. At first, to be honest, I was not rushing. There are so many books I’m dying to read, with so little time, and I just added this one to my library audio list and forgot about it. I had read Corrigan’s other books and loved them, but I was not going to fall apart if I did not read it this month. Little did I know how wrong my procrastination was. A few weeks later, when the title popped magically into my Overdrive App, I started to listen to it. And then it blew me away. This is not an ordinary book. This is an extraordinary book. I can only describe it this way: Kelly Corrigan is somehow morphing into Anna Quinlan in the best possible way. She is brave. She is wise. She is courageous. She is thoughtful and charming in that way you want all girlfriends to be. She just gets better with age. She tries to make sense of the fact that while you are busy raising teenagers and dogs, your parents will die and some of your friends will die, too. A breast cancer survivor, Corrigan lost her beloved father and close friend Liz around the same time. As a tribute to these two incredibly special people in her life, she launches into a list of 12 of the hardest phrases she has learned to say which include “I don’t know, “I was wrong,” and simply “No.” There is something so heartbreaking and sane about this book that I couldn’t wait to make it my book selection this week. If you are thinking about your next book, and considering Kelly Corrigan’s latest, please do not walk but run. She is a “Beth” to me. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Still Me” by Jojo Moyes

Sometimes when my daughter is using the restroom, I hop into her power wheelchair and take a spin around my apartment. Of course she does not like this because it is like a girlfriend borrowing your best dress and parading around town in it. But I like to do it because I think it is important to see what it is like be her. To get a glimpse into the life of someone else is to give yourself some perspective on your own life. This is the theme of Jojo Moyes new book “Still Me,” the third in the series of books featuring the ever-charming Louisa Clark. In the first book “Me Before You,” (LLP Week #20) Louisa is hired as the caregiver for an affluent handicapped man named Will Traynor and the experience changes her life forever. In this new book we follow Louisa to New York City where she gets a job working for Leonard Gopnik and his much younger wife, Agnes. Basically, Louisa steps into the glamorous life of a super rich Manhattan couple and discovers that despite their wealth, they have secretes just like everyone else. This, of course, is the same world Will once lived in before his accident, and it brings her great comfort to see it up close, on the heels of her grief. I have read the two books before this on in the series, and it is essential to read them in order because they do build upon each other. We get to see Louisa grow, mature, make mistakes and learn from her experiences. I know some people might think Moyes is a “chick lit” novelist (a term I don’t love but I see it used so often I thought it would hold meaning here) but there is something so much more significant to her books. They personify the real heart and soul that we are all craving in our own lives. The fact that she wraps them all up into this lovely heroine named Louisa Clark is just about perfect. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Mindful Eating: A Guide to Rediscovering a Healthy and Joyful Relationship with Food by Jan Chozen Bays

I had surgery on my gums in February. Let’s be honest, nobody likes to have dental surgery.  But as the weeks and then days lead up to my appointment, I because almost giddy with excitement. My brain filled with the magical thinking that as the result of having stitches in my mouth for two weeks, my weight would suddenly drop down to the dream weight I once was in 1994 when I had the stomach flu. The surgery went well, and that night I began a diet of soup and tea. As I sipped and slurped my way through each meal , I felt a sense of superiority, as if I would never need to eat solid food again. However, within only a few days, I started eating pretzels on the other side of my mouth, away from the stitches. I was both happy and disappointed in my crafty mastication. Pretzels then proved to be the gateway food to other things like rice cakes, taco chips, nuts and then the crack of all snack foods – Wheat Thins. I quickly fell back into my old habit of unconscious eating. “Mindful Eating” by doctor and meditation teacher Jan Chozen Bays is a wonderful book about how you can teach yourself to eat with pointed purpose again. She talks about diet trends that came and went, cultural food differences and even the habit we now all have carrying around water bottles, perhaps needlessly. She offers not only insights into how to eat better, but also tips on how to slow down. She suggests using chops sticks or eating with your non-dominate hand in an effort to slow down. This thoughtful self-help book paints a very practical picture. We all just need to take a breath, slow down and eat more deliberately. Smell. Taste. Think. Feel. Unfortunately, that there are no short cuts when it comes to diet and exercise. The goal is to learn to balance the two in a perfect equilibrium, by being more mindful. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“The Housekeeper and the Professor” by Yoko Ogawa

Not to long ago, my friend Beth handed me this book. I take Beth’s recommendations quite seriously because seven years ago she introduced me to my husband, Jeff. So clearly she knows what I like. When she handed me “The Housekeeper and the Professor” by Yoko Ogawa she said, “I would like the book back when you are done.” In this day and age of kindles, ipads and cyber/audio books, when someone asks for an actual book back, that is saying a lot. That means Beth intends to keep it in her personal home library. So I took the book with me to Ixtapa, Mexico, when I went in November with my husband. It was the perfect size for travel because it is about as slender as an as old TV Guide. Once on the plane I opened the book and on the first page I saw that not only Beth’s name was written in the obligatory owner’s spot but also her mother’s name, Sari, was written there, too. So this meant not only that Beth enjoyed the book but also that Sari (a voracious reader) also liked it and passed it around. “The Housekeeper and the Professor” is a delightful story about a single mother who comes to clean the house of a brilliant mathematician and baseball fan who is losing his memory, literally over and over again. A best-seller and movie in Japan, this book chronicles the tragedy of a man who was in a car accident and, as a result, has only 80 minutes worth of short-term memory. His long-term memory is holding him prisoner in the year 1975, prior to the accident. The housekeeper, and mother of a 10-year-old son, is hired by the gentleman’s sister-in-law to cook and clean for him. However, the housekeeper cannot help but grow closer to the professor who wears notes on his suit such as “my memory is only 80 minutes long.” The plot demonstrates how the three of them learn to become a family, despite the professor’s disability. The author has written 20 other books, and if this charming writing style is any indication of her other work, I am excited to read more. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Between Them: Remembering My Parents” by Richard Ford

Today would have been my parents’ 55th wedding anniversary, and yet it remains my mother’s birthday, too. So there is still reason to celebrate despite this now bittersweet date. I wrote two published books, and literally hundreds of speeches, newspaper and magazine articles with my dad. I used to think he wouldn’t speak to me unless I had a pen in my hand. I am now writing a memoir with my mom about her extraordinary life. Writing about and with my parents is one of the ways I am able to connect with them the best. “Between Them: Remembering My Parents” is Richard Ford’s Pulitzer Prize-winning book about his own mother and father. His mother Edna married his father Parker, a traveling salesman, in 1928. However, she didn’t give birth to Richard until 1944. He details their lives on the road, traveling through the south together, until Edna settled down to raise her new baby boy. This slender yet powerful book is composed of only two short stories, written 30 years apart. Ford wrote the first part recently and it is about his dad who died in 1960 when the author was just 16. He wrote the second part, about his mother immediately after she died in 1981. His father died quickly from a sudden heart attack while his mother died slowly of cancer. Through the two short stories he seeks to understand what their lives were like before they had him, and after welcoming him into the world. Ford, well known for his fiction, proves that he has the gift of being a non-fiction writer as well. When author Cheryl Strayed reviewed this book for “The New York Times” last year, she called it  “A remarkable story about two unremarkable people we would never have know, but for him. Which he couldn’t have written, but for them. “ Happy Birthday to Barbara Sue Wells. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Born To Run” by Bruce Springsteen

I am a chameleon when it comes to music. I gravitate toward the music that my partner likes. My husband Jeff likes Phish and Phil Lesh, and so do I. Paul liked the Velvet Underground and Nirvana, and so did I. Bill liked James Taylor and Carly Simon, and so did I. But rock and roll for me all started with the music of my high school boyfriend Doug. The music wafting from the Blaupunkt radio in his grey BMW 2002 was usually Jackson Browne or Bruce Springsteen. I remember how I felt when he would pick me up at the Westlake School for Girls, and we would drive out of the parking lot blasting Springsteen. I felt, for maybe the only time in my life, cool. Springsteen has that effect on people. You feel excited, soulful and part of the experience. “Born To Run” by Bruce Springsteen is the story of how a boy from Freehold, New Jersey, who never wanted to hold down a 9-5 job became a poetic rock legend. The book, which apparently took him more than seven years to write, is very honest and extremely illuminating. He chronicles his life on stage with the E Street Band and off stage with his wife Patti and three children. One son is a radio producer, the middle son a firefighter and the daughter an equestrian show jumping champion. He talks about struggles, triumphs and everything in between. I listened to all 18 hours and 16 minutes of Bruce telling me his story in my car driving back and forth between San Francisco and San Rafael.  I have to say listening to Springsteen made my commute exceptional. P.S. Jeff added that he doesn’t want to be pigeon-holed for just liking Phish and Lesh. He also likes the Beatles, the Allmans, The Bee Gees, The 5th Dimension, Elvis, Dylan, Diana Ross, the Eagles, Clapton and Johnny Cash, too. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

A Beautiful, Terrible Thing A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal” by Jen Waite

I found myself at a small café yesterday, rather unexpectedly, talking with someone about my own divorce, which was finalized in 2009. I don’t think anyone, in her right mind, ever intends to fall in love and then get divorced. Most people would rather tackle anything other than having to dissect and then dismember a long-term marriage. However, things happen, people change and then you find yourself mustering the courage to unravel a truly chaotic situation. This is the subject matter of Jen Waite’s heartbreaking memoir “A Beautiful, Terrible Thing.” When we meet the narrator she is an aspiring actress/model who falls head over heels for a waiter/ restaurateur named Marco. They fall in love, get married, have a baby and seem to be living the fairy tale dream until the bottom drops out of Jen’s world. She finds out that Marco is having an affair, and has been lying about pretty much everything since the get-go. Reader be warned: This is one angry writer. But imagine, your husband tells you he broke the bed frame by accident and you find out he broke it while having sex with another woman in your bed.  She describes Marco throughout the books as a “psychopath” and “narcissist” and I have to say if I were handing out awards this guy would easily win both. You wonder why a person would want to ready a dark tale like “Beautiful, Terrible Thing,” The answer is this: We can learn from how people survive the most painful experiences in their lives and rise above the rubble to triumph. Read more about Jen Waite and her story on her blog at www.jenwaite.com. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Milk and Honey” by Rupi Kaur

When my husband Jeff and I got married in 2016, we decided that he would keep his house in Marin and I would keep my apartment in the city. We would spend time together, and time apart. This might seem unorthodox but with four girls between us, it made perfect sense to us. At his house in Marin I get to observe the habits of his almost-18-year old daughter, Violet. There is a red chair wing backed chair that I call “Violet’s chair” because that is the officially designated spot where she places all of her schoolbooks, clothing, keys and shoes. This is the chair that Jeff’s mother, Sue, spent hours in knitting, doing cross-stitch and reading. Like her grandmother, Violet loves to read. One day I saw on the red chair this book: “Milk and Honey” by Rupi Kaur. I made a note to investigate the book further, but the following day the book was gone. So I ordered another copy from my library and read it in my apartment one quiet afternoon when I was on my own. “Milk and Honey” is a cross between a poetry book and a picture book. It is broken down into four sections, “The Hurting,” “The Loving,” “The Breaking,” and finally “The Healing.”  Nearly every poem is accompanied by a thoughtful, poignant, almost dreamy illustration. The poems are about loss, love, pain and ultimately survival. The author’s website says it also is about “femininity,” but I wouldn’t classify this book as gender specific. It is about human beings struggling to find peace in a world filled with violence and pain, as well as intimacy and love. Kaur is a Toronto, Canada-based writer and artist. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Spy of the First Person” by Sam Shepard

Near the end of his life, my dad said he and his friends, also in their early 80s, would sit and talk privately about their “legacies.” They would discuss what they would be remembered for after they were gone, both good and bad. My dad would sometimes say, “Lori, how is my legacy today?” I used to laugh and say, “The Odd Couple,” “Happy Days,” “Pretty Woman,” “Beaches,” and “Valentine’s Day,” I think your legacy is pretty safe.” The same could be said for another beloved man, Sam Shepard who passed away last year.  He appeared in 50 films and wrote 55 plays, and you would not think this would be a man compelled to write more book as he was dying. He was well known around the world for his acting and writing, but he insisted on completing this book “Spy of the First Person” before he died. As he was losing the ability to even hold a pencil due to the devastating effects of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig’s disease, he dictated the end of this book to his sisters and three children using a tape recorder. It was almost as if he wanted to reveal to everyone that ALS was part of his legacy and the urgency in his narrative comes through clearly in every word. “Shepard’s family published “Spy of the First Person” with the help of his long-time friend, the singer-songwriter Patti Smith. The beauty and simplicity of this book is pure Shepard. His sister Sally told the “New York Times” that even during his final days “His mind was like a steel trap.” The prose of Sam Shepard will live on for many decades to come. I’m so glad he was able to finish this last book and share it with the world.  To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Touch” by Courtney Maum

To say I am a romantic person is an understatement. I want everyone to have a partner, and I especially don’t want anyone to grow old alone.  When I first mentioned my dream of getting married for the second time, my dad said, “Lori, that’s just not very modern.” And he was right. In 2018 most people probably spend more time cuddling their iPhones and laptops than other human beings. Will true romantic candle-light-and-champagne love soon become just an app, or will we find our way back to traditional face-to-face interaction? “Touch” by Courtney Maum tackles this subject through the eyes of the uber chic Sloan Jacobsen, a successful trend forecaster.  Revered for predicting the touch-screen “swipe,” Sloane is hired by the tech company Mammoth to use her expertise to raise the company’s profitability. She even gets assigned a self-driving company car that talks to her. Initially, Sloane and the company love her concept of celebrating the “voluntary childless” – described as people who choose not to have children in an overpopulated world. However, the more Sloane works on the campaign for this trend, the less convinced she is of this forecast. Her career and her love life take a turn when Mammoth goes rogue and hires her long-time boyfriend Roman Bellard, a pompous writer/sex researcher who predicts the death of sex altogether. As Roman becomes Mammoth’s “cause célèbre,” Sloane starts to show signs of wanting a normal life for herself, thanks to a new relationship with a down-to-earth co-worker. The New York Times called this book an “exuberant satire of the wired rich set in the near future.” I call it an old-fashioned love story set in a crazy high tech world. No matter what you call “Touch,” it is a terrific read.  To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“The Futures” by Anna Pitoniak

I was married to one man for 18 years, and now have been married to another man for not yet two years. I have to say that I like being married. I know that is not very modern, but I like being part of a couple. But when I close my eyes I can remember 1983, like yesterday, what it was like to be a single woman, working in New York City for a best-selling magazine, living in a six-story walk up, and dating. It is an exciting time to look back on from the vantage point of being married, and that is what “The Futures” by Anna Pitoniak is all about: new grownup love. The novel follows Evan and Julia in 2008, the year after they have graduated together from Yale. He is from a small town in Canada, while she is an East Coast young woman from a rich family. He gets a job at a hedge fund, while she starts a new career at a non-profit foundation. They move in together, start their new jobs and, while trying to grow closer, they grow farther apart. Can you see it? He’s poor becoming rich, she’s rich becoming poor. The novel is written in a “he said/she said” style in which Evan and Julia each tell their versions of the same story. Rather than being redundant, this technique is quite illuminating. You end up liking the couple together, as well as apart. It made me wonder how many of my friends who married right after college either stayed together or broke up. Is there a science to a successful relationship, or is it just luck? I’m not sure but I love books that analyze relationships. This is a terrific book by a new author who I hope to read more of. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Finding Magic: A Spiritual Memoir” by Sally Quinn

Late last year, a woman I know who is a very private person, sent me an email suggesting that I read a book called “Finding Magic” by Sally Quinn. I took this as an important sign and ordered the audio book from my library immediately. I have always loved Sally Quinn and her husband, the late Ben Bradlee, but I did not know the intimate details of their story. “Finding Magic” is not only a spiritual memoir as advertised, but also a survivor’s guide on how to deal with the death of a loved one. Quinn started her career as a journalist and television commentator, and soon transformed herself into a doyenne at the center of the Washington social scene when she married Bradlee, the executive editor of the Washington Post.  Quinn writes about her private spiritual journey from voodoo lessons and visits to psychics to more traditional explorations of modern religion and prayer. She details how her faith helped her navigate the most difficult moments in her life, which included raising her son Quinn, who was born with a severe developmental disability, and later caring for Bradlee who was diagnosed with dementia late in their 36-year marriage. Her strength and ability to survive in the face of tragedy is reminiscent of Joan Didion’s book “The Year of Magical Thinking.”  There is a passage in this book in which Quinn details sleeping with her late husband’s shirt for nearly a year after his death. When I read that passage, I surprisingly did not pity her. Instead I thought immediately to myself, “What a brilliant, soothing idea.” Sally Quinn is a woman who knows how to take care of herself. That is why people should read this book: to learn how to deal with life, loss and everything in between.   To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

"The Santa Land Diaries" by David Sedaris

I was celebrating my sister’s 50th birthday party last weekend and a friend of ours, who I have known since we were two years old, came up to me and said, “I love your Library Party. If not for you I would never have heard of David Sedaris.” This is why I started writing the LLP. I want my friends to know about David Sedaris, Wendy Wasserstein, Franz Kafka, Anne Lamott, Joan Didion, Henry David Thoreau, Miranda July and all of the other quirky people I love to read. There are plenty of wonderful writers in the world but I appreciate most the writers who make me laugh, dream, and in the face of adversity, dig deep, leap and climb right over any problem. David Sedaris is hands down the funniest writer I have every read. In fact, I have mentioned it before, I can hardly listen to his audio books in my car because they make me laugh so hard that I fear the police will pull me over for driving badly. “Santaland Diaries” was originally broadcast on National Public Radio in 1992, and tells the story about how Sedaris worked as a Christmas Elf in “Santaland,” at Macy’s department story. The essay was later published as part of his books “Barrel Fever” and “Holidays on Ice,” and was even turned into a one-man show. If you are looking for a festive stocking stuffer, or just want to read something funny around the holidays this is the book for you. “Santaland Diaries” represents the first big break for Sedaris, and it makes me smile every holiday season. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.

“Wendy and the Lost Boys: The Uncommon Life of Wendy Wasserstein” by Julie Salamon

“Wendy and the Lost Boys: The Uncommon Life of Wendy Wasserstein” by Julie Salamon

My sister Kathleen turns 50 years old tomorrow, December 16. This is fascinating to me because I still think of her as my little sister, circa 1976, when she was 9 years old and I was 13. She was always smiling brightly, while I was always pouting suspiciously. She had peppy blonde hair like Jan and Marcia Brady, while I hid under my chestnut locks. She was always the tap dancing extrovert to my book-reading introvert on any family occasion. However, one of the things we always had in common was our love of the playwright Wendy Wasserstein. From the time we were very little our dad took us to see live theatre, and Wasserstein’s plays were among our favorites because they were not only smart but also incredibly witty. I remember the first time I saw “The Heidi Chronicles” I got the chills because I knew I was watching something special, like no other play I had ever seen before. In November, my sister started reading “Wendy and the Lost Boys: The Uncommon Life of Wendy Wasserstein,” by Julie Salamon.  I picked up the book this week from the library and started reading it too. The youngest of 5 children, Wasserstein won the Tony Award and Pulitzer Price for “The Heidi Chronicles.” Her nearly four-decade long career in theatre boasted 11 plays, including “Uncommon Women and Others,” “The Sisters Rosensweig,” “Isn’t It Romantic” and “An American Daughter.” She was a prolific writer with one of the strongest and most distinct voices in American theatre during her lifetime. Then, at the age of 48 she surprised many people by having a baby on her own, and then unexpectedly died at 55 in 2006. She left behind a daughter named Lucy, and a legacy of characters that should never be forgotten for how they opened the door wide for many feminists to follow boldly in their footsteps. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.